'Glee' Season 3, Episode 21 Recap & Song List - 'Nationals'

At long last, it's the Nationals episode, which means there will be lots and lots of songs. Brace yourselves.

We start out in Chicago already, and the kids seem to be much more prepared this time around. No dancing and singing through the city when they should be rehearsing, no writing dumb original songs the day before the competition; the kids are instead working on their choreography. Of course, that's nowhere near where it needs to be at this point, but hey, we need a little dramatic tension. At least they're actually rehearsing this time, and there's a little bit of versimilitude to the whole affair.

The problems arise quickly, but are just as quickly quelled: Mercedes has food poisoning, forcing Tina and Quinn to join the Troubletones and learn the number, but Mercedes jumps back into the fray before long, thanks to Sue's crazy remedies. Good, she's being helpful.

Another nice touch from the writers, and a necessary one for this season: some of the stakes have been heightened for this particular competition. At this point in the show, with all the other drama going on about graduation and whatnot (and having been here before and the world having kept on spinning after New Directions lost), many of us are probably finding ourselves feeling less than invested in the outcome of Nationals. In short: who cares?

But Finn has bet Rick "The Stick" Nelson $500 (most of his and Rachel's honeymoon money) that they're going to win, so there's that. Plus, Rachel has to perform well in case Carmen Thibideaux from NYADA shows up. And, if you care about Sue, she has to bring a win to McKinley so that she can maintain sole coaching duties of the Cheerios. I don't care much about Sue's wants and needs, but I do care about NeNe Leakes aka Roz Washington going away, so now I want them to win.

New Directions performs first, and get standing ovations for everything, and that includes Carmen, who did in fact show up and seems impressed with Rachel. We also see a couple of the songs performed by Vocal Adrenaline, who are now heavily leaning on Wade, dressed as U'nique, to take every solo. He got some pre-performance encouragement from Mercedes and Kurt, too, mumbling that he might have to transfer schools next year to be with the nice people at McKinley. Considering he's a "Glee Project" co-winner and the club is losing some seniors, that's almost definitely in the cards.

We get the obligatory comedic judge deliberation scene, but this time the celebrities are real (mostly): Lindsay Lohan and Perez Hilton are there to judge, joined by Rex Lee as Martin, the third judge. If you're like me, you loudly yelled "LLOYD!" at the TV when Rex showed up on screen.

Lohan takes the side of New Directions, since we're supposed to like her, while Perez plays the bad guy and supports Vocal Adrenaline. That leaves it up to Martin, who chooses...

New Directions! Yep, in a blaze of glory and slow-mo congratulating, the McKinley High glee club finally wins Nationals. It's a bit surreal, since you get so used to these kids being the losers in the end. It seems almost sacreligious to have them win something.

Jesse St. James catches Carmen on the way out and endorses Rachel for a position at NYADA, so now it looks like Carmen might be officially convinced. As if we ever thought that Rachel wouldn't end up going to school there. Still, kids, remember to apply to a backup school. Or, you know, just more than one school.

So, the ramifications of finally winning Nationals: the kids get back to school and are greeted by some banners and slushies filled with... confetti! See, even Rick "The Stick" Nelson is nice to you when you win something. The important thing is winning, kids. That's the lesson here.

Also, Emma decides that it's time to have sex with Will, which she communicates through one of her pamphlets. Apparently all it took for her was for Will to win something. The feelings involved, her OCD, and waiting for the right moment was important and all, but hey, they guy just won a national show choir championship, and after all, sex is nothing but a reward token or a bargaining chip, right? Right?

Anyway. Will also wins the teacher of the year award at McKinley, which seems like kind of a dinky award at this point, but it does mean that the kids get to sing to him.

Interesting. New Directions actually won something. The tone seems all wrong now, all victorious like that (you just know they were holding onto "We Are the Champions" for a long time). It might have been cooler to have them win last year by sheer luck, and see them fall from that grace this year, but here we are. Next year will clearly be all about Tina trying desperately to reclaim former glory with a decimated roster of talent. Just kidding. Tina still won't get any storylines. Or lines.

This Week's Numbers:

"Edge of Glory" -- Lady Gaga -- The Troubletones

"All Coming Back to Me Now" -- Celine Dion -- Rachel

"Paradise By the Dashboard Light" -- Meat Loaf -- New Directions

"Starships" -- Nicki Minaj -- Wade/U'nique and Vocal Adrenaline

"Pinball Wizard" -- The Who -- Vocal Adrenaline

"Tongue Tied" -- Grouplove -- New Directions

"We Are the Champions" -- Queen -- New Directions